ME AND MY GRANNY ARE SHARING A BED AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS ASLEEP BUT I JUST SNEEZED AND SHE WHISPERED bless you AND I NEARLY HAD A FUCKIN HEART ATTACK
Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I’m much more stressed than I was earlier :/
Baby: g- g- g-
Australian dad: g'day mate
Baby: get out me car
EVERYONE STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING! A theatre accidentally played Rise Of The Guardians instead of Guardians Of The Galaxy.
This has officially made my night. Oh my god.